I came from a poor family but I was
raised in an environment where offspring who came from middle to rich families were
the persons I have mingled with because my mother with her siblings had helped
each other to enroll me in a private school in our city. Although I had this opportunity,
it also brought in me growing insecurity of seeing most people have something
that I could not have at those times. It always gave me a feeling of
inferiority as I grew up. I always think that well-off or wealthy people are
always powerful and someone like me will always be second or last. I had built
my self-confidence due to some accolades, praises, and promotions I have
received from schools and workplaces but I always go back to a certain
predicament of allowing others to go ahead of me. It seemed like I am more at
peace or guiltless when I allow others to take the spot and leave me a second
place or lower even if others would tell me, “If I were in your shoes, I would
never allow anyone to walk through me.” Another thing that affected me was the
paradigm of Filipinos that when we show off, we are considered boastful, fame-seekers, attention grabbers, intending to hurt others, and selfish. Although,
nowadays people evolve and start to be more mature and understanding of words
such as respect, competence, quality, and acceptance. People are starting to be
accepting of new ideas. But let us remember that a culture is a culture unless
one chooses to take the other route.
As
a parent, I always encourage my child to maximize his potential and express
himself. Although my son is a little shy compared to other students from
different countries during competitions in speeches such as in WeVoice Competitions
involving children around the world, my son joins through submitting his videos
of speeches. For his first few entries we have trained him and won spots in the
category but his last entry, it was his own efforts training himself and we
were just there to record his performance for submission. I guess our culture
has influenced us, we still have the tendency to be a little shy or test
the water when to speak, when to suggest and when to burst out our emotions.
Psychology
is defined as the scientific study of the human mind and its functions, especially
those affecting behavior in a given context. While culture is defined as the
ideas, customs, and social behavior of a particular people or society. Our culture
or the way we grew up affects the way we think, we act and we decide in
our lives. It may be directly or indirectly but once a certain idea is embedded in
our system, it is hard to remove it or change it unless under given
circumstances such as by choice, adaptability, or force. An example of this, as Filipinos we have ideas on how to become a good person, a good teacher, a good
student, or a good parent. Being a Filipino mother entails close monitoring of
a child, some say spoon-feeding in various aspects. Our culture anchors us on
how to behave as a mother or parent. Citing some examples such as always
maintaining proximity with the children and trying to do everything for them.
When I don’t do this, I will be perceived as a bad parent regardless of whether the intent
is good and the motivation is love. Unlike other countries which view it as putting
a rope on a child’s neck, for them it is a tight love, children should be free,
children show to explore and learn and if neighbors or relatives request for the
child to stay with them, the mother will allow but for Filipino mothers, they
will hesitate and will not allow unless it is so close family tie such as
grandmother or grandfather. Filipino wives are also very submissive because
they think that men are the head of the family who has the final decision in
everything. But some of the Filipinos have already started to succumb to
changes as long as it is still within what is considered the norm. Filipino wives
work and empowered who are now have the power to speak, act and decide for
themselves. I have learned from our lesson this week about people who have low
expressivity and high expressivity. This opened my eyes not to judge others. Hence,
if they follow their culture, they are the ones who will be responsible for the
effects afterward. What we control is our reaction towards their behavior which
their culture dictates to them. Whatever the culture dictates, we still have the
agency to choose what is right according to our core. We have to make sure that
we are ready to face the consequences of our decisions and actions. I have also learned from the lesson this week that I should be more understanding of others
and show respect. Before I react, I should think, observe and analyze things so
as not to be dumb in the end as I suffer the consequences.
Which country did you
come from?
What home culture affects
you the most? (positive and negative effects on you)
Racquel, I enjoyed reading about yourself and your experiences. Let me tell you, YOU ARE A LOVED DAUGHTER OF HEAVENLY FATHER, you are great, yo u can achieve whatever you work hard for, don´t ever forget it.
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