February 18, 2022: Week 07 Response to “Difference in Manners”

 

                  Manners denote a person’s outward bearing or way of behaving towards others. I remember my son and his closest friends were invited for a snack at their Indian classmate’s house. My son was too young and immature and he cried over a slice of cake. The host said, did your mother teach you some manners? I guess we are expected to always think and act in the right way. One time he was also invited to a party where the host was a Mozambican, they had parlor games and lots of food, my son displayed his attitude from being nice by lining up for a game to refusing to participate in another game because he said he is tired. He cried and laughed but the hostess was even happy to witness his various moods. I also had the experience of having a friend tell me a story about them attending a party with less food, considering the culture of Filipinos during celebrations, they would love to cook and prepare plenty of dishes to happily invite guests to eat and joy. It is like a shame if we do not treat our guests with hospitality and lavish dishes. While I personally saw a friend from Europe, who prepared one or two dishes for a very special occasion and called it a banquet because for them being happy with guests is the best part of inviting people. Our way of behaving differs from the culture we grew up in. It is best that we continue to mingle and learn from each other. Always research various races in order to avoid misunderstandings, conflicts, and troubles. In the workplace, we are composed of Indian teachers, Filipino teachers, and African Teachers such as Mozambicans, Zimbabweans, and others. Filipinos are talented, intelligent,  hardworking and frontrunners in all programs. Asians such as Filipinos and Indians love to please people. Asians love praises and victories. But Filipino dwell on emotions. Oftentimes, when conflicts arise, Filipinos won’t talk with each other and snob one another. It also takes years before wounds get healed because they keep repeating to talk about or remembering the mistakes or pain inflicted on them. But of course, it depends on the maturity of a person. Generally speaking, they are the last to forget and forgive. Africans on the other hand have this mindset of letting go. Regardless of how painful it is, whatever happens, yesterday, they leave it like that. It is like they bury the hatchet immediately. They are cool, smart, and friendly individuals. But they need the Filipinos to keep them on track during school affairs and activities. Sometimes, the school will pair up one Filipino and one African in a level to learn from one another and teach each other to behave professionally.

             Sir John Ivers, a brilliant and indefatigable teacher in BYU mentioned examples of showing differences in manners. In Korea, bowing is a sign of respect especially for people with a higher post or respected position such as a teacher while other countries may mock you for bowing, it is like you are defaming yourself. In America, table manner expects you to place your arms and hands under the table while other countries can consider resting arms on top of the table. Also, when you yawn in America, you do not need to close your mouth, you can even grunt and stretch and there is nothing wrong with that, while in other countries, you should close your mouth when you yawn because not doing so is an insult. Furthermore, it is normal for people in the United States to put their hands in their pockets, it is a way to warm the hands. But for other countries, they will not walk around with their hands in their pockets because it means they are sloppy. Americans are punctual people. They are very particular with time, they are monochronic people. Americans also blow their noses in public while Japan finds it disgusting and gross especially when they reuse the handkerchief. It seems that Americans have a wide understanding of so many aspects of life but Americans have high regard for personal space. Space is sacred to them. When in the restaurant, their space can’t be shared with anyone because that is already intruding on their privacy even in a public place, space is sacred for them while other countries may share space while eating. In Europe, people cut their meat, and then the fork is in the left then continue to eat while in the United States, they put the utensils down and switch hands before eating. Switching hands at the dining table denotes you are an American. Sir John Ivers shared about his wife who is with red hair and blue eyes where she was stared at by most of the passengers in Bolivia while for other countries staring is rude. In Mexico, or the West part, they have a high tolerance for noise while the Back East has a low tolerance for noise, they will call the cops when they feel disturbed or violated by noise from the neighbors. We have to be mindful of these differences and learn more because having the knowledge may prevent us from misunderstanding, conflicts, and even harm. Such as the showing of the bottom of your shoes which made the Middle East or Afghan Army opened fire on the Americans by merely showing the bottom of their shoes. As an ESL Teacher, I have to be mindful of these things to avoid chaos in the classroom. I need to research and watch videos about different cultures. Also, to have open communication with the learners and their parents.